If this is now
Stop reading and call 988, press 1. Or text 838255. The person who picks up will not start with paperwork. They will listen.
You don't need to be sure it's a "real" crisis. You don't need to have a plan. You don't need to have been deployed, or wounded, or anything. If you're hurting, you qualify.
What happens when you call
A trained responder — most often a veteran themselves — answers. They will:
- Ask if you're safe right now. That's it. No demographic intake. No insurance verification.
- Let you talk. They will not interrupt with "have you tried therapy?"
- Help you make a plan that fits the next few hours, not the next few months. Where will you sleep tonight. Who can you call tomorrow. What's one small thing you can do right now.
- Connect you to your local VA Suicide Prevention Coordinator if you want it. Not if you don't.
- They will not automatically dispatch police, ambulance, or VA Police. That happens only if you're an immediate danger to yourself or someone else and refuse to make a safety plan.
Most calls last 15-30 minutes. You can stay anonymous. You can call again, or call about someone else, as many times as you need.
If you're worried about a buddy
Veterans usually don't reach out — because they don't want to be a burden, because they think they should handle it, because the culture taught them to. So you have to be the one to reach out.
Do this:
- Call them, don't text. Voice matters. If they don't pick up, leave a real voicemail.
- Ask the question directly: "Are you thinking about killing yourself?" Asking does not plant the idea. Research is unanimous on this. It tells them they're not alone in the thought.
- If they say yes, stay on the line. Get to them in person if you can. If you can't, get someone they trust to.
- Help them remove access to lethal means — at minimum, lock up firearms or hand them to someone else for the weekend. Most suicide attempts happen within an hour of the decision being made. Time and distance save lives.
Don't do this:
- Don't say "you have so much to live for." It tells them their pain is invalid.
- Don't argue. They've already had every argument with themselves a hundred times.
- Don't call the cops as your first move. Police-on-veteran wellness checks have killed people. Use 988 first. Use a buddy first. Use VA Police via the local VA hospital before calling 911 if you can.
Warning signs
Talking about being a burden. Giving away possessions. Sudden calm after a depressive period (the decision feels made). Increase in alcohol or drug use. Withdrawal from family/buddies. Reckless behavior. Unusual interest in funerals or end-of-life planning. Direct or indirect mentions of "ending it" or "checking out."
Three or more of these in someone you know — do a buddy check today, not tomorrow.
What if they won't pick up the phone
Drive over. That's the answer most of the time. Coffee, drop in, no agenda.
If you can't get there: call a mutual friend, a sibling, an old commander, anyone in their life who can. If nothing else works, call the local non-emergency police line — not 911 — and request a wellness check on a veteran in mental health crisis. Use those exact words. Ask if they have a Crisis Intervention Trained (CIT) officer.
For spouses and family
Living with PTSD, TBI, or moral injury affects the household. You are not crazy. You are not selfish for needing support.
- VA Caregiver Support — free counseling, respite care, and a national caregiver line: 1-855-260-3274
- Elizabeth Dole Foundation Hidden Heroes — community for military & veteran caregivers
- Blue Star Families — programs for the home front
- TAPS — for families who have lost a service member or veteran (incl. to suicide). 24/7: 1-800-959-TAPS (8277)
Specific support
- Women veterans: womenshealth.va.gov · Women Veterans Call Center: 1-855-829-6636
- LGBTQ+ veterans: patientcare.va.gov/lgbt · Trevor Project (LGBTQ youth/young adult): 1-866-488-7386
- MST survivors: Free VA care regardless of discharge status. mentalhealth.va.gov/msthome
- Substance use: SAMHSA Helpline 1-800-662-4357 · 24/7
- Homeless veterans: National Call Center 1-877-424-3838
Beyond the crisis line
Stop Soldier Suicide
Veteran-led peer support & advocacy. Confidential outreach.
stopsoldiersuicide.org →Give an Hour
Free mental health services from licensed providers volunteering their time.
giveanhour.org →WWP Talk
Free peer-support phone calls with trained warriors. Weekly check-ins.
WWP Talk →NAMI Helpline
Mental Health America & NAMI Helpline 1-800-950-6264. Information & referrals.
nami.org →Buddy Check Tool
Quick guide for reaching out to someone you're worried about.
/buddy-check →Full Directory
VA, VSOs, jobs, healthcare, housing, family — vetted resources.
/resources →Lethal means safety
Most veteran suicides involve firearms — not because veterans are uniquely violent, but because firearms are uniquely lethal. If a veteran in your life is in a hard period, putting time and distance between them and a firearm is the single highest-impact thing you can do.
This is not about taking rights. It's about temporary storage. Options:
- Have a buddy or family member hold the firearm for the weekend, the month, or as long as needed
- Use a gun-shop or pawn-shop hold (most are familiar with the concept)
- Locked safe with combination held by someone else
- Cable lock around the firearm
Same logic for medications: put pill bottles in a locked box during a hard time, give the key to a partner.
The VA has a free gun lock distribution program. Pick one up at any VA medical center, no questions asked.
One more thing
If you're reading this because you're hurting: you reached out by reading. That counts. Now make one more move. Pick up the phone. Or text. Or chat. Pick the one that costs you the least energy.