Like military father, like military sons: a Father’s Day story of Army service and legacy

Twenty-five years ago, now Army Col. Paul Smith became a husband, a father and a soldier.

“It was an interesting start, for sure,” he reflected. “All of the major life stressors that people talk about hit us all at once.”

Now, Paul is nearing the end of his military career. As he is looking toward retirement, both of his sons are following in their father’s footsteps. His oldest son, Devon, is a first lieutenant in the Army. His youngest, Joseph, is a rising senior ROTC cadet at Norwich University. Paul says this period of his life has been marked by reflection on what leaving a legacy really means.

“Someday, I’m going to take that uniform off for the last time, and the true impact that I think I’m leaving is these two young men here and their continued choices to serve,” Paul said of his sons.

What is most notable, he says, is that Devon, 24, and Joseph, 21, chose this path for themselves. Growing up in a military family is complex, to say the least. The brothers recall more than 10 moves, attending three separate high schools, and stints abroad in support of their father’s career.

“As a kid, all you can think about is, ‘Man, why do I keep having to lose my friends? I have to keep re-establishing myself,’” said Joseph, who acknowledged he was initially dead set against joining the military. “But the older that I got, the more thankful I was for that experience because it has really helped me become more of a resilient person.”

Along with building adaptability, tenacity, and empathy for others, the brothers learned a lot about what true service and leadership meant from the example their father set. During Paul’s time in command, the brothers remember family trips to the barracks to check in on the soldiers in their father’s battalion. To them, it showed how grounded and engaged his father was as a leader and how much he wanted to build a bridge of trust.

One of the attributes that stuck with Devon most was presence.

“Dad is radically present in everything that he does,” Devon noted. “When he is interacting with people, he sets the phone aside and looks at the person. I can’t tell you how important and how impactful that is.”

Now an officer himself, Devon is learning how hard that distinctive quality is to pull off. He says there have already been instances when he has needed to be fully attentive to a soldier in his office who needs his help, while also being five steps ahead of any pending problem and putting out small fires between interactions.

“Dad mastered that in a way that I haven’t figured out yet,” admitted Devon. “It’s really impressive.”

Paul says he and his wife, Cassandra, are equally impressed with both of their sons’ ability to chart their own course.

“It seems like today we are afraid to let people fail or find their own ways,” Paul remarked. “Instead, we want to mow the grass, straighten the roads, and not let the kids have any challenges.”

But a clear and challenge-free trajectory is not an accurate expectation of the journey from adolescence to adulthood. Paul says that, as parents, he and his wife make it a point to provide support and a safe place to land if plans go awry.

There is an intentional methodology to his parents’ support, Devon notes, giving an example of when he told them he wanted to attend the United States Military Academy at West Point. Paul’s response was to give Devon an assignment to adhere to the academy’s honor code, which says a cadet will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.

“It is really hard as a teenager not to lie, cheat, or steal in various capacities,” noted Devon. “Dad challenged me to be better and to shape myself for the lifestyle that I said I wanted. And it changed me a lot.”

The Smith family’s Army service spans multiple generations. Paul’s father enlisted and served during the Gulf War. Paul has worn the uniform for 25 years. And soon, both his sons will do the same. Paul’s current role includes the integration of transformation initiatives for the Army, meaning the work his team does today will influence the organization that Devon and Joseph inherit.

“If I can go out there and capture those lessons and make those changes across the Army to ensure that we’re ready to fight, they’re going to be in the best position they can be,” said Paul. “So it’s for all the sons and daughters out there, but definitely for my two kids as well.”